A Clown in My Pantry

That title will make you read this post, won't it? So, Sunday afternoon my handsome husband comes upstairs and says, "Get your camera and go look in the kitchen". Well, ya don't ask questions when he tells you to get the camera! I grabbed it and headed downstairs, camera in hand, ready to shoot... As I get closer to the kitchen I hear a child rummaging in the pantry. Not unusual. I also hear this same child singing, presumably to a song on her I-Pod that she alone can hear. Again, not unusual. As I round the corner, I see this.


Of course, I snapped the picture immediately. Now that IS unusual. Should I be alarmed? I don't know.... Is this a phase? "I want to be a clown, mom" or "I'm joining the circus" or "I'm thinking of a new hairstyle-Orphan Annie meets Jimmie Hendrix". Of course, since she is a teenager, she rolled her eyes at me, took her snack and sauntered on upstairs to her room, still singing. I guess maybe I'll get answers later. Then again, maybe not.

A Great Book!

I just finished reading a great book titled Logged On and Tuned Out: A Non-Techie's Guide to Parenting a Tech-Savvy Generation by Vicki Courtney. My two older daughters and I went to see her speak in Joplin, MO last month. I bought the book because my 13-year-old has just started her own MySpace page and I felt like I needed to keep up with the latest technology. I highly recommend this book if you have children on the internet. It addresses the issues of MySpace, FaceBook, cell phones, IMing, etc... She gives practical solutions to problems that can crop up with a teens and technology. I learned several things and my oldest and I were able to sit down and have a talk about her MySpace account. I feel like I'm on top of technology now!

Mrs. Courtney has also written several other books. I have also started reading her book Your Girl: Raising a Godly Daughter in an Ungodly World. She talks about raising daughters in our current day and age. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of "hoochie momma's" myself. Check out her blog at http://www.virtuousreality.com/blog/ if you don't know what a "hoochie momma" is. I know she has another book geared towards sons as well, called Your Boy: Raising a Godly Son in an Ungodly World

It's hard parenting teens in this day and age. I'll take all the help I can get!

The Man I Love or My Life as the Straight Guy

To give you better insight on my life, I thought I would give you few details about the love of my life, my husband. He's a comedian (or likes to think he is). I married him because he made me laugh. My roommates at the time would say, "you really think he's funny??" That should have been my first clue.

For example, we were recently discussing a local news story about a truck of cattle that had overturned on an interstate ramp dumping a load of bulls in downtown St. Louis. Several had died, but others had escaped and were roaming the streets of St. Louis. A few days later they had captured all but one of the free bulls. Our conversation went something like this:

ME: One of those bulls is still on the lam.
HIM: He has a sheep with him too?

So, that's the type of humor I deal with daily. His favorite joke is this:
HIM: I'm going fishing.
ME(playing the straight man role): Have you got worms?
HIM: Yea, but I'm still going fishing.

He has every member of his immediate family trained on this joke to play the straight man part, even his mother! He loves to pull this one out at all family gatherings or when he has a new audience. he loves a fresh audience because his material has been the same for 25 years or more!

I was just interrupted by a phone call from my dear husband.

ME:I'm working on my post all about the man I love.
HIM: Really,... who's that?

Everyone knows the straight guy always got paid more.

Things Aren't Always What They Seem....

My husband and I went on trip to Chicago last week and left the kids here with grandma. They usually do very well on their own, but sometimes the pets get neglected just a little bit. So, when we returned home on Sunday, and both dogs started following me around, I assumed they were just really glad to see me, until I went upstairs to my bathroom. They both followed and jumped in the shower and looked longly at me. They hate baths so....Okay..... I checked their water. Yep, the bowl was dry. So, I gave them water and fresh food, gave the hamster food and checked on the cat. She was good. Then I went to check the hermit crab. When I picked up his shell, a small dead curled up hermit crab thing fell out. Woops!

I thought, oh well, I didn't really care for that thing anyway. I left him there and went to do other things. I'll deal with him later. I planned to take care of him on Monday. Clean out the dead curled up thing and put the bowl in the garage for storage, but I forgot about it after 15 loads of laundry.

This morning, my 8 year old finished her cereal and came upstairs and asked "Do hermit crabs shed?" I don't know, honey, why??
"Because my crab is in his shell, so I don't think he's dead." Interesting.... I went to check and he was curled up in his shell. The "dead crab" was actually just a dry husk! My forgetfullness or God's intervention had saved his life! I would have pitched the husk and put the whole thing out in the garage.

I had lunch with my friend Jennifer today and she asked what I would be blogging about next. I told her the hermit crab story and she said "Yeah, that could be a metaphor for life." (She's smart!) I hadn't really thought about going with the whole metaphor thing, but I guess that's true. So, the moral of this story is: don't hide in your shell all day, or someone might take you to the garage and really let you die. Or maybe, don't leave your dirty clothes laying around, or mom might threaten to kill you. I don't know which I like better.

An Admission

Okay, I'm going to admit something that not everyone knows.......


I love Lionel Richie!!

So it's not a really dirty little secret, but it could be kind of embarrassing in some circles, I guess. You couldn't really hold it over my head and blackmail me with it, however.


I had one request for my birthday this year. I wanted 'Lionel Richies first album, appropriately titled, Lionel Richie. You know the one. It has "Truly" on it. I fell in love with that album when I was fourteen and babysitting. I used to sit for this couple who were real partyers. (My mother doesn't know this! She does already know I love Lionel, though.) They would go out and wouldn't come home until the wee hours of the morning. So by the time I put the kid (yes, just one) to bed at 9, I would have at least 5 hours of uninterrupted time to watch "Saturday Night Live" and other shows I wasn't allowed to watch at home. However, this was the "olden" days, as my kids call them. There were only 5 channels on the television and the "Star Spangled Banner" or "Taps" or whatever it was played at 1 am and they were gone. So, I was left with several hours to kill. Because I was a goody-goody, (Gee, I'm admitting a lot in this post!) I was afraid to fall asleep. I thought they would come home and find me asleep on the couch and be mad because I wasn't watching the kid! Looking back now, I realize that they were so stinking drunk at 2 am, they probably didn't know they had a kid, much less what my state of awareness was.


ANYWAY, back to Lionel! I discovered the cassette tape on top of their stereo on night. Do you remember that the stereos used to be the size of a bookshelf with twin tower speakers on either side? I put it in and put on the mongo doughnut headphones (didn't want to wake the kid! What was that kid's name, anyway???) and heard the beginning stains of "Serves You Right". I was hooked! After that it was me and Lionel forever! I actually bought my own cassette and wore it out by my senior year of high school. I wasn't babysitting any more, but I was still jamming with Lionel! I will forever remember him as the guy that kept me company those nights.


So, this year, I asked for that album on CD for my birthday and my husband, who follows most gift-giving instructions to a tee bought it for me. I love it just as much now, as I did then.


This prompts the eye-rolling from the children. Again. Oh well. Having said how much I love Lionel, I need to say as a mother, (getting on my soapbox) that I'm not pleased with his child-rearing skills and the morals he has instilled in his daughter, but that's a whole other story......